Often I run out of time to get things done, so I will construct a mental list that keeps the momentum going until I manage to get the task done. This keeps said task at the front of my mind until completed. The problem with this, is that if the task does not get done for a while then basically, it starts to get me down. I start to question why I cannot fit more into my day and therefore whether my priorities are set correctly.
Already life feels like it is flying by and the weeks disappear. .It's June almost.. and half a year has gone already. I do question whether I try to fit too much in, indeed the other day I asked why someone hadn't done a certain thing.. 'Well, she does 'x' on a Monday night' was the satisified response. And ? I thought... I might also do 'x' on a Monday night, but then also manage to go on and do 'y' and 'z'. Why is it that someone will just do 'x' and be Ok with that, and yet I would feel bad if I didn't do 'y' and 'z'. I suppose it is a different set of values, styles, behaviours that make us all our own unique self. Then I think to myself, if I acted like other people then I would not be myself, I would not be true to myself and I would be giving other people an unrealistic view of me. I don't want that. So, I carry on being like an octopus. I make my mental lists whose non-completion gnaws at my brain like a nagging wife, and I try and do all of the things that are expected of me. And I suppose there's the rub, I need to do more of the things that please me sooner and more often, and less of those things that I think, on my personal priority list are 'expected' but are not necessarily 'appreciated', whilst also remaining true to myself. Here's to that !
Oh, and yes, the seeds are in - Finally !